March 11, 2014

SPECIAL: NO JUDGE, ONLY LOVE, Marco's Life-Changing Album: Nightwish - Once (2004)


OK guys, here's the thing: I'm not as cool as you think. I don't know what other people told you, but Adam wasn't created from one of my ribs, I don't wrestle bears for fun and Vladimir Putin is not my personal adviser. That would be Jonathan, people always mix us up for some reason. I do have a bitchin' Italian name, though, so it all evens out somehow. 

You see, I used to listen to a lot of shit in my early teens - Linkin Park, Kelly Clarkson, Lordi, Craddle of Filth, Avril Lavigne, Fort Minor, Coldplay, Rihanna, Dido, fucking Muse, Timbaland, Nelly Furtado, Beyonce, Lil Jon, Ludacris, Killswitch Engage, AC/DC, Iron Maiden., Aerosmith, you name it. Decent, well produced music if you judge it solely on an objective level, but soulless, uninspired and superficial when you realize that, years after their final moment of relevance, their that ''Oh, I used to listen to them in my teens!'' kind of bands and that the world would have been exactly the same without them. Some would call it corporate music and they'd be totally right. Hell, I still do listen to a lot of crap, but now I have an entire back catalogue of cool (obscure) music to impress the so called patricians who question my taste when they see me spazzing out on Ke$ha's songs. But I digress.

While The Knife marked the moment when I started experimenting with different genres and became an overall musical dicksnob, Nightwish was there when I finally broke free (hehehe, get it?) from the music I mentioned earlier and started broadening my horizons. If for some weird reason you've made finding the perfect personification of the ''hello im 12 years old and what is this'' meme your life ambition, you're in luck today, because that was me when I first made contact with Once. It has everything a rebellious preteen would love - leather clothing, fuzzy guitar riffs, vaguely intellectual lyrics inspired from mythology, gloomy videos with a laughably cheesy yet lovable Gothic theme, bombastic song progressions and a hot chick with an absolutely beautiful voice thrown in for good measure (whoaaa, come on, I was joking! I'm well aware that Tarja was the soul and brain of the band, not some dumb poster bimbo for 13 year olds to drool over). Songs like Over The Hills and Far Away, Nemo, I Wish I had an Angel... Man, makes me smile like a dumb ass when I look back. 

Sure, now that I look back at it, I see how cringe-worthy and over the top they were. Sure, Tarja was the reason why they were so successful in the first place. Sure, their music is mediocre at best. Sure, they're a pile of pure, steamy and utter shit. But you know what? These guys knew (past tense, Tarja  left the band a few years ago) how to fucking rock. And that was reason enough for 12 year old Marco to run towards the record store and blow away his allowance money on his first CD, Nightwish's Once. 

Two years later I threw it away by accident.

No comments:

Post a Comment