Arctic Monkeys - Beneath the Boardwalk demos (2004)

Marco and I are both huge Arctic Monkeys fans, as you may know. It's actually one of the few bands we both enjoy equally, even though he probably still hasn't changed his mind about AM (I have, though - that album fucking rules!). Out of the two of us, it could be argued that I'm the bigger hipster, as I enjoy obscure post-black metal records and I seriously consider myself an avid drone listener. Marco is happy being an Italian thug with a preference for hip hop and indie rock, although he does listen to his fair share of weird shit, like synthwave albums about homicidal robots. And he really likes this one hardcore album for some reason, which is baffling. 

Given this background, I would be curious what he thinks about Arctic Monkeys' demo recordings, which they put out over the course of 2004 to promote their music, back when they were pimply teenagers instead of world-famous rockstars. Personally, even though I'm not one to constantly rave about how good demos are over actual albums, I love these demo songs. The simpler, rougher production of well-known tracks like Riot Van (which is drowned in reverb on this recording and has different lyrics - mostly about smoking weed), Fake Tales of San Francisco, Scummy (later re-recorded as When the Sun Goes Down), Still Take You Home or A Certain Romance lends a unique charm to these songs that I feel has been lost when proper production was bestowed upon them. 

Check out Matt Helders in the back looking scrawny as fuck. Do u even press weights m8??

The real highlights of this collection, though, are the songs which never made it to an official album. They showcase Arctic Monkeys as the sweet boys they were back then and their knack for writing catchy melodies and memorable hooks. Knock A Door Run, Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts (a song about how much it sucks when other people are smarter and better looking than you), Curtains Closed (with its tribute to The Rockafeller Skank by Fatboy Slim), Cigarette Smoker and Space Invaders (my favorite song off this collection, followed closely by Choo Choo) are loud, groovy and in your face songs that command utmost respect on the dance floor. Looking for something more mellow? Mardy Bum and No Buses are there to mend your broken heart. Drunk and feeling like hugging everyone around you? Switch over to the lighthearted Pussycat Dolls Love Machine cover, featuring Alex Turner's panty-wetting laughter, and watch your dreams come true! There's seriously not a bad song on this demo and in fact I'm willing to declare that Beneath the Boardwalk gathers together some of the best material Arctic Monkeys have to offer. It's always a pleasure to dust off these songs, as they also show just how far these guys have come. Great story!

Fellow Arctic Monkeys fans, wat u think?? Do u love rocking out to these old-timey songs? Would u smash teenage Alex Turner? Am I beautiful under these lights? Would u still take me home? Is AM their best work yet? Weigh in on the comments section below!

Marco vs Chester: Arctic Monkeys - AM (2013)

"Its the work of a band still growing, still fine tuning, still learning and still experimenting; a band who will not look back at this record as a career high, but as the moment they stopped being defined by genre and instead become artists. Not a rock band, definitely not a indie band, bur artists. Think Bowie, think The Beatles, think Stevie Wonder and think Bob Dylan. From this point on, Arctic Monkeys can do whatever they want, sound however they like and always be Arctic Monkeys. But that's all for another day, sometime in their stupidly bright future. For now, we should celebrate this record for what it is - 41 minutes and 57 seconds of near perfection." - NME

MARCO'S THOUGHTS

I am so angry. So, so, so angry that Arctic Monkeys flat-out lied to everybody and got away with it just because they're so hip and edgy. They've promised us a more heavy, stoner-rock approach, and what we got instead are some stupid modern ballads about getting high, being a ''weekend rock star'', getting shit-faced while sporting a leather jackets and Grease-like hair-dos and some other totally forgettable songs that sound like weak Humbug b-sides. And believe it or not, that's not even the problem here. If a band promises to take a certain approach and doesn't do it, I can totally understand that. Things change, people change; maybe they hit a dead end and they're forced to start everything from scratch, whatever. But teasing the fans two fucking years prior to the release with a song that you'd later confirm as being ''your new stoner-rock new sound'' ( R U Mine), releasing another single one year later that sounds exactly the same (Do You Wanna Know), and including them into your new album together with a bunch of fucking snore fests that sound NOTHING like you promised they will is not the way to go. What I'm trying to say here, in case you're wondering, is that you're a bunch of fucking liars who have taken advantage of the massive ass-kissing campaign that the so called ''music press'' has started a couple of years ago in the most devious and cold-blooded way possible and you should be ashamed of yourselves. /rant

I don't even know what to say about the music itself, because my rant (which I wrote  at 4 A.M.) pretty much sums up all of my thoughts and feelings about AM. I've let it sit for nearly a day, hoping that I would change my mind about it and delete it, or at least edit bits of it. Obviously, I didn't. But for the sake of  fair and constructive critique, I'm gonna TRY to offer AM a proper review. Let's just hope I won't get angry in  the process.

The opening track, Do I Wanna Know (fittingly enough) represents everything Arctic Monkeys promised and failed to deliver. It's dirty and edgy, albeit a tad slow-paced and ZzZ-worthy if you're not in the right mood. R U Mine is, well... I like it. Sometimes. When I'm drunk and I feel like trashing shit and pissing away all the alcohol I've consumed in the bathroom of some sleazy pub. Fortunately, I've never felt the urge to start  bar fights and engage into random acts of vandalism, so I have no reason whatsoever to listen to it. Arabella alternates between the fuzzy, stoner-rock sound that should have been the center of the album and some boring, overly pretentious slow segments that only serve the purpose of ruining the song. One thing I liked about it though was the smart Beatles refere--- Fuck you, I'm not falling for that. Oh, and Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High has a pretty cool video. The song's mediocre at its best.

The rest of the tracks are so boring and forgettable that I left the album playing in the background several times and didn't even realize it was over. Not once did I unconsciously tap my foot against the floor, like I usually do, nor did I restart the song midway through it because I like it so much. It's bland, unimaginative and, most of all, the biggest cop-out in the history of music. Instead of like, REALLY experimenting, they've returned to safe territory. And you know what's the really sad thing? That everyone will praise them, from the lowest of fanboys to the so called music critics who sell their words. thoughts and integrity to whoever offers the bigger check. They're hip, they're cool and they wear leather jackets, which qualifies them for a safe spot in the ''edge of the mainstream'' i.e. the starting point for bands with a cult following who suddenly become ridiculously notorious. It's just a matter of time until they'll get to the real mainstrean.

If you've been following the Monkeys since their formation, please, avoid AM like the plague. It's not worth it. If you're a newcomer, well, whatever rocks your boat. Just don't touch me.

CHESTER'S SIDE

I'm not angry. I'm just terribly underwhelmed. Like Marco, I remember promises of things getting heavier and dirtier. I was expecting an evolution from Suck It And See (which I loved, by the way), a sound that would fit even better with Alex Turner's bad boy image and Matt Helders' hardass look. Filthy distortion, pounding drums, screaming guitar solos and a fuck-all attitude to go with all those leather jackets and slicked-back hairstyles, yet with sensitive thoughts and feelings of heartbreak and romance at the core. 

Off the whole album, only R U Mine? fulfills this implicit promise. And boy, how it fulfills it! From the first distorted note to the bulldozing drumming by Helders and all the way up to Turner's excellent vocals and Cook's labyrinthic and precise riffing, R U Mine? is the embodiment of everything I wanted from the new Arctic Monkeys album and a fantastic track in itself. 

Another high point of AM is Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High? in which Matt Helders and Nick O'Malley channel their inner 80s rap producers and kick out a groovy and rhythmic jam, over which Alex lays down his catchy, cryptic rhymes and an infectious chorus that's backed by some very discrete guitar chords that allow the vocals and rhythmic section to take center stage. 

Unfortunately, everything else is, quite frankly, totally forgettable. There's a chunk of songs, between tracks #3 and #8, that's full of ballads that sound like recycled bits from Humbug. There's nothing memorable going on in any aspect, which in turn transforms Turner's lyrics from mysteriously cute to mildly irritating. Sure, there are some funky groovy parts in certain songs and the production work is stellar, as it would be expected from a band which makes a billion dollars every day, but the overall feeling of the rest of the album is "I feel like I've heard it all before, only it was better". 

Like I said, I loved Suck It And See, even though I was apprehensive of it at first. After a dozen or so listens, one day it just clicked. I feel the same way about AM. I was expecting something rough'n'tough and an evolution in sound. Instead, it feels like the band is retreating already familiar territory, comfortable in rehashing things they did several years ago. AM might click for me later. I hope it does, although only liking 2 songs out of 12 isn't a very good omen. 

One final thought: this album has made me realize how much I dislike Alex Turner's look and attitude. His rockabilly pomade-ridden hairstyle, the leather jackets, the comb he keeps in the breast pocket and the practiced motion of pulling it out and slicking back the sides of his hair - all of it is so fake and engineered to look vintage-cool, it's sickening. I can appreciate Matt Helders keeping on his track pants and chewing gum for 11 years straight - it shows personality and a strong character which isn't swayed back and forth between trends. Alex Turner, instead, looks like a fucking Ken doll, only scrawnier and holding the guitar and comb accessories in his hands while recording songs on his retro 4-track cassette player, because that's the only way to write. I'm looking forward to the day when he becomes a human being again. 

Chester's Top 10 Most Highly Anticipated Albums of 2013

Following the list of my favorite album covers of 2012, I would like to continue the prelude to TZEEEAC's listmania with a list of the albums I'm most looking forward to hearing in 2013. It's already shaping up to be a great year for metal, so here's a look at some sweet stuff bound for release sometime during the following 12 months.

1. Arctic Monkeys - ????

First up, Sheffield pimply-faced-teenagers-turned-world-famous-rock-stars Arctic Monkeys are going to release the follow-up to 2011's Suck It and See. As drummer Matt Helders' mum confirmed via Tweeter, the lads are in the desert, recording their new album. Frontman Alex Turner said the band is going in a heavier direction with the new songs, so it'll be interesting to see what they understand by "heavy". It'll probably be fucking great, anyway.

2. Cynic - ????

One of my all-time favorite bands, Cynic is set to put out a new album in early 2013. Guitarist/vocalist Paul Masvidal spoke about the new album and the direction in which the band is going:

“It’s almost like, I don’t know how to explain it, but if I had to put it in a box it’s more sci-fi, futuristic and alien but at the same time very song driven. It’s kind of like, to me, coming into Cynic’s body more. It feels very modern and at the same time it just feels really cool. I’m big in the space. It’s definitely new. It’s not like anything we’ve done before. It’s a new colour, a new space. I think people will really take note of even the guitar stuff. I’m really shifting gears, I’m trying things in a different way and the way stuff is played. It’s a new space for Cynic for sure. It definitely sounds like us, except completely new.”

There is no way in hell I won't love whatever they come up with, so I'm definitely eager to listen to this one.

3. Darkthrone - The Underground Resistance

This right here is the cover for Darkthrone's new album, about which the band says it'll be more "epic", "basically just metal" and a "step away from the last album as usual". Sounds good to me. Bring it!

4. Ghost - Infestissumam

Ghost are also gearing up for the release of their sophomore album in Spring 2013. The band says they're going for a lavish, divine atmosphere, which I'm guessing probably means a whole lot of keyboards and eerie intros. Anyway, I'm excited about this. There's even a track listing, which goes as follows:

1. INFESTISSUMAM
2. PER ASPERA AD INFERI
3. SECULAR HAZE
4. JIGOLO HAR MEGIDDO
5. GHULEH / ZOMBIE QUEEN
6. YEAR ZERO
7. IDOLATRINE
8. BODY AND BLOOD
9. DEPTH OF SATAN’S EYES
10. MONSTRANCE CLOCK

5. Mac Lethal - ????

Mac Lethal is pretty much my favorite rapper right now and he's always posting shit about his forthcoming album on his Facebook page. It's always vague, ambiguous shit, but he swears it's going to be awesome and I believe him. I can't wait to see what's he going to come up with this time. In the meantime, he keeps making these fast rap videos about current issues, which is cool, I guess. I just wish he'd stop wearing those stupid glasses.

6. Scale the Summit - ????

Progressive instrumental metal outfit Scale the Summit have begun writing songs for an upcoming new album. Their last album, The Collective, was basically flawless, so I have high hopes for this. Not much else is known at this point, so fingers crossed it's going to turn out as good as I expect it will.

7. Suffocation - Pinnacle of Bedlam

Even if nothing works out for them in 2013, at least Suffocation's new album will have a kickass cover. The guys have released a new song which will be on Pinnacle of Bedlam, and I will hopefully manage to embed it below. 

8. Summoning - ????

The news came out of the blue: Tolkien loremasters Silenius and Protector, alias Summoning, have announced that they have finished writing a bunch of songs and are beginning the recording process for their new album, set to release next year via Napalm Death. I honestly thought these guys quit music forever and they'd never release anything ever again, so I am fucking STOKED about this. SUMMONING, EVERYONE! BACK AT IT!

9. Tumbleweed Dealer - ????

Up-and-coming Canadian stoner bros Tumbleweed Dealer have caught my attention with their debut 3-song EP Death Rides Southwards, which you can listen and download at Moshpit Tragedy. Now, the guys have begun working on a full-length album that will be fueled by beer and weed, so I'm confident that it will turn out to be great.

10. Void Forger - ????

Last up, Romanian crust/black/doom mongers Void Forger are probably (hopefully) going to release an EP or an album, sometime next year. This is the only new release in my Top 10 that's not been officially confirmed by anyone in the band, so I guess this last alphabetical entry is sort of wishful thinking. Until further updates, you would do well to take a peek around their Bandcamp page and listen to their demo. It'll take you places.

FURTHER UPDATE: Void Forger's drummer Volo has confirmed that they will indeed release a 7" EP next year. YA BOI!


So there you have it, folks, a brief look at the albums and bands I will be most excited about in 2013. I will probably be gushing with excitement over every one of these, so get ready for some top-grade fanboy posts. You have been warned.

Arctic Monkeys - Electricity

Looks like Marco isn't going to post the new Arctic Monkeys track anytime soon, so I guess it's up to me to keep you up to date on our favorite indie rock band of all time. Electricity is the second song to be recorded for Record Store Day by the Sheffield quartet and it's great. Much like their entire output.

Arctic Monkeys - R U Mine

Oh, forgot about something. You know that awkward moment when you eventually get tired of a brilliant, longly-expected album? Yeah, it sucks.

Arctic Monkeys understands our First World problems and, from time to time, they release right from the Out of Fucking Nowhere Land a stand alone single.



What can I say, I fancy this even more than all the tunes from Suck It And See put together. This, I might add, sucks even more.

Arctic Monkeys - Suck It And See

Anii trec, 'tu-le mama lor. Batmanii se umplu de praf pe raft, tricourile cu Linkin Park rămân mici, acadelele sunt înlocuite de ţigări, puful fecioresc de pe faţă se transformă într-o replică a pădurii amazoniene, unii devin alcoolici, alţii misogini şi tot aşa. Ideea e că, oricât ne-am feri de ea, la un moment dat schimbarea tot îşi face apariţia, şi cu bune, şi cu rele.

Acelaşi lucru se întâmplă şi-n cazul trupelor: evoluează şi se îndepărtează de sunetul tineresc care le-a consacrat (spre fericirea unora şi disperarea altora), îşi tund pletele, renunţă la giumbuşlucurile din interviuri sau de pe scenă şi se maturizează. Beatleşii nu s-au mulţumit să cânte în cluburi obscure de striptease din Hamburg pentru o veşnicie, şi nici măcar Slash nu a vrut să-şi păstreze reputaţia intactă aşa că n-a ezitat să colaboreze cu Fergie.

Arctic Monkeys n-a reprezentat o excepţie de la regulă şi a respectat acelaşi parcurs. Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not, un album de debut excelent, energic, tineresc, urmat de un al doilea album care respectă aceeaşi reţetă a primului, cu câteva efecte zgomotoase adăugate. A urmat Humbug , al cărui sound este o combinaţie ciudată dintre frenezia lui Favorite Worst Nightmare şi contribuţia subtilă a lui Josh Homme, care le-a făcut cunoştiinţă maimuţoilor cu stoner-rock. Un album antrenant, proaspăt, plin de mister şi mult mai întunecat decât precedentele.



Şi uite aşa Suck It And See şi-a făcut apariţia în vieţile noastre, piesa de rezistenţă care le atestă maturitatea muzicală. Pentru cei care-şi făceau speranţe că o să fie o resuscitare a primului album, veşti proaste: nu este. Se duce departe, la ani lumină distanţă. Se deosebeşte atât de mult de fraţii lui mai mari încât ai crede că este vreun fiu bastard de-al lui Alex Turner, uitat pe-un raft prăfuit înţesat de casete cu filme porno nemţeşti din anii ’70.

În privinţa sound-ului, băieţii şi-au făcut temele. Alex Turner este ca la fel de minunat de afon ca întotdeauna, numai că şi-a îngroşat puţin vocea ca să se potrivească cu albumul, Jamie şi Nick îşi fac treaba la chitară respectiv bass iar Matt, nu-atât-de-secreta-lor-armă se autodepăşeşte, arătându-ne că este capabil să bată şi pe ritmuri frentice, violente, cât şi pe unele mai delicate. Dacă nu v-am convins asupra autenticităţii lui, ascultaţi de câteva ori tot ce-au lansat de-a lungul anilor apoi treceţi la Suck It And See . Sună ca două trupe diferite, până şi pentru cineva ca mine, care-i ascultă de ani de zile şi nu mai zic de cei care au început cu ultimul album.

Cât despre compomenta lirică, Alex Turner ne violează şi de acestă dată creierele cu metafore şi jocuri de cuvinte delicios de complicate care te fac să deschizi dicţionarul după fiecare vers ascultat. Solistul nostru abordează multe subiecte, nelipsitele iubiri ratate (Love Is A Laserquest, Reckless Serenade ), tripuri care ating intensităţi si dimensiuni titanice – cred eu, nu mă pot gândi la o altă explicaţie- (Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair, Black Treacle, Library Pictures) şi piese de genul capra-crapă-piatra-în-patru-piatra-crapă-capra-în-patru (The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala) Altceva nu ştiu ce să mai zic, pentru că nu mă simt capabil din punct de vedere intelectual. Poate după ce o să termin o facultate de litere, cu tot cu master, o să rescriu acest paragraf.

Suck It And See marchează începutul unui nou capitol în istoria maimuţoilor. Ne-au demonstrat că nu le este frică să se îndepărteze de origini şi să experimenteze cu noutăţi şi mai mult, că sunt capabili să o facă al dracului de bine.

Arctic Monkeys – Whatever People Say I am, That’s What I’m Not

Autor: Marco

Arctic Monkeys este trupa care a apărut din neant şi a provocat valuri seismice în rândul plebei adolescentine, remarcându-se prin versuri inteligente, ritmuri halucinante, tinereşti şi proaspete şi prin carisma de care dau dovadă în interviuri şi pe scenă. Încă de la început au avut parte de toate: un fan base turbat construit prin intermediul unor banale demo-uri postate pe internet în perioada 2004-2005, cel mai rapid vândut album de debut din toate timpurile în UK şi nu în ultimul rând, onoarea de a fi trupa care a întors toata Anglia cu susul în jos şi de a defini o întreagă generaţie de tineri.

La sfârşitul anului 2004, Maimuţoii Arctici şi-au început parcursul în nemiloasa industrie muzicală postând treptat pe internet şapte melodii: “I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor”, “Fake Tales of San Francisco”, “Dancing Shoes”, “Still Take You Home”, “Riot Van” , “Mardy Bum”, “When the Sun Goes Down”. Succesul de care s-au bucurat pe internet le-a oferit uriaşa oportunitate de a se face cunoscuţi şi pe alte planuri decât cel digital, lansând în 2005 primul single, ‘‘I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor’‘ şi într-un final, să lanseze prematur albumul de debut Whatever People Say I am, That’s What I’m Not , fortaţi de presiunea fanilor şi de apariţia albumului pe internet cu câteva luni înainte de lansarea oficială.

În esenţă, este un album hibrid care a luat ce-i mai bun de la cei mai buni: dezmăţul celor de la Libertines, ceva din ‘’imnurile’’ Oasis, eleganţa Beatleşilor şi cine ştie câte altele. Băieţii de la Arctic Monkeys au reuşit să le îmbine perfect, rezultatul fiind un sound original. Construindu-şi această bază muzicală solidă, trupa avea să evolueze şi să se maturizeze pe parcursul următoarelor două albume.

Înainte de a vorbi despre tematica albumului, este de remarcat perpectiva subiectivă pe care Alex Turner a ales-o pentru a-şi exprima sentimentele, ideile şi opiniile. Spiritul observaţional excelent şi simţul umorului de care dă dovadă merg mână în mănă cu perspectiva mai sus menţionată şi te introduc perfect în atmosfera albumului. Cum membrii trupei şi-au petrecut copilăria ascultând hip-hop, Alex ne recită versurile cu o frenezie şi nerăbdare apropiată de impulsivitate, parcă vrând să termine cât mai repede ce vroia să zică şi să treacă la următorul subiect.

Whatever People Say I am, That’s What I’m Not este un album concept care tratează în particular viaţa de noapte din Sheffield, locul de baştină al trupei şi tinereţea şi rebeliunea în general. “I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor”, “Still Take You Home”, “You Probably Couldn’t See For The Lights But You Were Staring Straight At Me” şi “Dancing Shoes” studiază ,cu un ochi critic, comportamentul uman în cluburile de noapte, “When The Sun Goes Down” este despre prostituatele care îşi fac veacul în vecinătatea cluburilor mai sus menţionate, iar “From The Ritz To The Rubble” îi condamnă pe debarasatorii care le strică mereu distracţie verificându-le actele, mediind conflicte şi aruncându-i afară pe oamenii gălogioşi şi distractivi. Cum nu se poate vorbi despre tinereţe fără romantism şi puţină nostalgie faţă de locul unde ai copilărit, avem Mardy Bum , o melodie romantică de o timiditate înduioşătoare şi A Certain Romance , o cronică a vieţii de zi cu zi într-un orăşel unde nu se întâmplă nimic spectaculos şi timpul stă în loc.

Whatever People Say I am, That’s What I’m Not este albumul care mi-a definit adolescenţa, în care m-am regăsit cel mai mult şi prin care mi-am răspuns la cele mai multe întrebări pe care mi le-am pus de-a lungul anilor. M-a marcat pe viaţă, iar dacă cineva mă va provoca peste 60 de ani să-mi rezum tinereţea într-o singură propoziţie, voi menţiona titlul albumului.