5. Getting blamed for not liking what others like
I'm not talking about the act of dismissing mainstream music or whatever, this one's about the little yet important things in life. Like food. No, I can't love the same shit that you do, it's in our nature. We're kinda unique, don't have the same personalities and can't have everything in common.
You don't like jam-filled pancakes?!?! What kind of human being are you?!
|See? Even Obama likes them!|
Ugh. I do love fruits, and I do enjoy eating nutella-filled pancakes. I just don't like them mixed together.
You don't like Will Ferrell? But he's just so funny!!!
|See? He's funny cause he forgot to get out of the tanning bed!|
Just fuck off. Seriously. He can't act for shit and every movie he does sucks. Don't tell me I should watch Stranger Than Fiction, that's like a retarded version of The Truman Show. Jim Carrey did it much better.
4. People who share swag pics on Facebook
I admit it, it's my fault I didn't delete these fuckers already. But they're fucking everywhere, spreading shitty photos reblogged from tumblrs like teenagersposts.tumblr.com or some other disease-filled blogs.
Yeah, I'm talking about shit pics like these:
This includes people who post 9GAG shit. Which brings us to number three on this list...
Holy fucking crap, it's the shit-for-brains community that anyone with a functional brain should absolutely hate! It became popular like two years ago, back when 9GAG actually involved some funny gags. Now it's just a shithole of a place populated by retarded teenagers and 12 year-olds. Check out what Wikipedia says about them: The website is mainly known for recurring use of internet memes. Characters are usually poorly designed and usually in black and white which is part of the central focus of the humor in the site. Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of birdbrained nutfuck finds that funny?
What? U no liek funny????
Show me something funny posted on 9GAG. What did you say? I can't hear you over the sound of me crying while gazing at those shitty rage comics and god-awful memes.
2. People arguing on the Internet
I hate this so fucking much. Just tell me. Why would anyone ever do this? We all know the internet is full of people like this faggot right here:
I'm not even going to make the "special olympics" joke because everyone knows it.
What? But I must impose my perspective!!!
No. Just fucking stop it. You're on the internet. Everything you do here is pointless. Absolutely pointless. You don't like something? Ctrl + w and you're done. Admittedly, these retarded numbskull fights are fun to watch, but that doesn't really help.
So tell me. Do you like arguing? Fighting atheists? Blaming republicans? This is where you belong.
|That's a sanatorium. Definitely not the most descriptive pic I could find.|
1. Being called a hipster
What's up with this hipster bullshit? When did everyone hop off the emo bandwagon and started focusing their subjective attention on a random group of people? I'm going to demythify this internet sensation crap and spell it out for you: hipsters don't exist.
Yeah, you heard me right. There's no such thing as a 'hipster'. You think you're hip if you post a photo of an expensive dish on Instagram? No, you're just an idiot. Every human being is considered to be a hipster by another (apparently) intelligent human life form. I'm going to show you an awesomely drawn picture now, because I'm too lazy to explain everything.
So it's all relative. The term has no actual definition, and if you try to define it, you're just going to describe someone you think is a hipster. See? It's like running around in a circle. Totally pointless. People, stop doing that.
I've been called a hipster countless times. Oh, you're listening to some bands that have under 2000 listeners on last.fm. So hip. Oh, you're watching movies that I never even heard about. So hip. Jesus Christ, people, stop being closed-minded. Open your eyes, explore, try something new, watch a movie that you wouldn't normally watch, listen to some new bands, just experiment the shit out of everything.