October 27, 2012

Muse - The 2nd Law (2012)

Oh my fucking god, what a piece of shit this album is. I’m sorry, but I can’t help myself, I hate Muse and everything that they stand for. It’s just depressing seeing 70 % of music listeners buying their every single album and attending every concert, supporting their crusade for total blandness and useless noise. I know I’m repeating myself like an old record, and I realize that you’re sick of my constant blabbering.  But hey, you know what? I don’t give a fuck. They suck. Big time. So here’s yet another hate article dedicated to my eternal arch nemesis.

The 2nd Law is, by far, their most ridiculous attempt at sounding… you know, like a good band. With this new record, Muse managed to somehow escape from the universe of mediocrity where they’ve been lurking for what looks like to have been a fucking eternity and reach Michael Bayesque proportions of bad taste. It’s like a really, really, really crappy action movie filled with gratuitous violence, sports cars, painfully unfunny yo momma jokes, out of place pop-culture/media/tabloid references and obscenely objectified dumb party bimbos for horny 13 year old boys.  And for hell’s sake, it isn’t even the kind of thing for which you’d have to shut your brain off to fully enjoy its ‘’so bad that it’s good’’ charm. No, it’s insulting and demeaning to intelligent people in particular and music in general. Now, bear in mind, I didn’t make that comparison to the excruciating decline in quality of contemporary  Hollywood productions just for the sake of it -  I always believed that all forms of entertainment are somehow linked to each other. For example, an untalented movie director will definitely not put good tracks on his movie’s soundtrack, for obvious reasons. 

Wooooa duuuude, like, check out the paint-job on that car, man!

Consequently, Muse couldn’t help themselves but adopt the fine rhythms of dubstep for their new album, because why the hell not, it’s popular, every kid goes crazy while that musical diahreea is playing on the background, so it must be good, right? Well, no. It’s not. Frankly, even I was surprised by this bold move.  I knew they sold their souls both to the Devil of Bad Music and Daedric Prince of Selling Out a long time ago, but fuuuuuuuuuck me. This is the death of Ned Stark kind of stuff.  The dubstep element sounds out of place even for a band like Muse, who has mastered the art of whoring to every popular trend that’s been around for more than 5 seconds. I don’t care if they used instruments to recreate the dubstep sound – it sounds horrible and they should be ashamed of themselves. 

 Not that they’ve done the ‘’progressive rock’’ thing better. It’s still as bombastic as before, and even more.  Survival sounds like an early scratch of a Queen track, Supremacy is so repetitive that I checked my winamp if I didin’t accidentally download only a certain portion of the song that I’ve put on repeat, and Animals bored the hell out of me. I’m not sure if I was really bored or if I suffered the musical equivalent of a lobotomy but nevertheless, my life will never be the same. Oh, and let’s not forget about their now classic piano oriented ballads… which I will totally not talk about, because I’ve ran out of inventive ways to bash them.  4443242fdakfdsojfhsho8fhs98f4298y4yf3yf3.


Oh,  there’s also that ‘’we’re all gonna be dead blahblahblah nuclear wasteland yadda yadda Illuminati is watching you masturbating yodabadoo’’ nonsense that Matthew Bellamy has always used as an excuse to express his political views and yell mobilizing slogans in order to lead the people towards a revolution against the corrupt  governments who have been ruthlessly oppressing the people and violating their rights. A pretty nice thing coming from an upper class Caucasian male, huh? He understands us, man. When the time comes, be sure he’ll be joining our noble cause. Fuck you.     

So what’s more to say but avoid The 2nd Law like it’s the Devil, and Muse like they’re your annoying cousin who constantly spams your Facebook news feeds with their terrible music created in Fruityloops.


  1. I've heard 3 songs and I think I had enough (this is coming from a guy who realistically understands that they had only one good album, Origin of Symmetry).

    Oh, and I wouldn't mind them experimenting, but they've come to the point where they over-simplify their shit and that's a big no-no in my book.

  2. Michael Bay? A much more accurate comparison for Muse would be Zack Synder (300, Watchmen, Sucker Punch). A director that is terrible at writing good characters or consistent scripts, or delivering an intelligent message, but his movies are a visual delight and some scenes ("this is sparta!") are pure legend. That's exactly how I see Muse.

    Their last two albums are kinda bad, but the older ones are decent. It seems to me they rarely can do a good song from start to finish, they make a great intro or middle part but they have trouble at filling the gaps. For example if the track "Supremacy" would end after 45 seconds it could be considered solid music.

  3. Album review are like AIDs... no cares or wants them.

  4. Look, Marco! A Muse fan. Let's laugh and throw bottles at him! What a dork!