September 9, 2012

Colosseum - Chapter I: Delirium (2007)



Good doom hails from Finland mostly, or at least that’s what I’ve come to notice. There are other countries that bask in giant waves of ethereal coldness yet none of them produce a steady inflow of metal soliloquies like this 'little' piece of land does, spewing forth album after album of bleak depictions of the (lack of) life that can be found in the consuming wastelands present in this part of the known world. In between Swallow The Sun (which seem to have placed themselves in a musical hiatus with their latest offering) and the often soul-searching  experience going by the name of Shape of Despair, in between all that does Colosseum slowly march,  expanding from its roots, carefully chugging away riff after riff of me(n)tal despondency, as if only to prove that death, insanity and climactic misery have their own personal way of creating a state of non-existent uplift. 

I don’t know, maybe it’s something in the atmosphere. Whether it be from the placing of a production studio  in a middle of nowhere and writing songs with fingers numb from cold, or the recording of wild bears fighting with trash cans as vocals, while at the same time sodomizing peaceful unicorns, in the middle of all that something exists that makes finnish music sound, at times, so amazingly beautiful, yet at the same time crippled from compositional and inspirational decadence.

Colosseum is the brainchild of Juhani Palomäki, which others may know from Yearning and in this case will be well aware of his work (and his passing, but we’ll come to that later).  The music is drenched in agonizing sounds of self-inflicted madness, guitars wailing as the solos rise and soar over the slow chugg-fest of rhythm mastery, the drums keep a slow but steady pace, climaxing with a sequence of double-bass on the end of the third track, Weathered, while the vocals crawl their way somewhere in the lowest range of a human’s vocal timbre in what resembles  the careful use of  a dying instrument, since the words that can be made out are far and few between. Synths also make a damn good impression, especially on Aesthetics of the Grotesque, a track which takes after its title and portrays a crushingly uncomplicated beauty, while at the same time being the most ‘ugly’ track on the album. The closer, Delirium, is an exercise in defining evil, the vocals sounding even more demonic than before and the rhythm guitar and synths delivering a simple, yet effective theme that reminds me of the song Psychopath’s Lair by Swallow The Sun.

And then it ends, as abruptly as it started, paving the way for the two successor albums, Numquam and Parasomnia, in which Juhani journeys even more into his thematic saga, leaving us, humble listeners, revering in the ideas and musings of a genuinely creative mind.  Here’s one track to prove that I’m right and have not yet entrenched myself in the arms of whimsical obscurity.



 
I’m confident that if you’ll come to like this album, you’ll also check out the later ones.

Pros: there is melody to be found in between all of the demonic sounds that this album is comprised of.

Cons: standard funeral doom, nothing that veers away from the known style.

Highlights: Weathered, Aesthetics of the Grotesque

Rating: 8.5

      Track List:

       1. The Gate of Adar   
       2. Corridors of Desolation   
       3. Weathered
       4. Saturnine Vastness
       5. Aesthetics of the Grotesque
       6. Delirium


P.S: I mentioned before that Juhani Palomäki is no longer with us in the realm of mortals. He passed away after completing the third album, Parasomnia, which was released post-mortem. No mention of the cause of death is anywhere to be found on the internet (or at least I haven't found it), so rumors claim the possibility of suicide. I guess we will never know. What’s important is the music that he left behind for us to listen.

Shukar Collective - Urban Gypsy (2005)


  Hey guys, wanna see how far fetched, obscure and specific my taste in music can get? Don't worry, as always, I'm here to enlighten you.

Before diving into the music, we gotta brush up on some history. The Ursari, more commonly known by you Western monarchs as those creepy guys who walk around with bears, are an important and widespread ethnical group in Eastern Europe. They're like your pikies ; always on the road, trading stuff and taming bears and shit.

Apparently, not all of them share the same activities. Tamango, Napoleon and Classic took a break from taming eldritch abominations and with the help of Romanian musicians Dj Vasile, Dan Handrabur (aka Dreamdoktor), Cristi Stanciu (aka Matze) and Vlaicu Golcea formed Shukar Collective (from the Romany word Shukar or Şucar, meaning "fine"). Purpose? Making music, of course!



And by music i mean synthesized household sounds combined with eerie vocals, dubstep and electronica. Spoons, forks, frying pans, mugs, cans, your drunken passed out father, you name it. It's a DIY attitude taken to an insane level. It makes me wonder what would've become of me as a musician if my father let me pound on his head way beyond the age of 4. I mean, hell, look at these guys, they've created music out of nothing. It's a full blown fuck you message to all Eric Clapton signed Fender wielding pseudomusicians who sing awful Wonderwall covers at street corners.

Being gipsies and all, the overall theme of the album ( made apparent by the song titles, 'cause it's really hard to understand the dialect in which Tamango sings) is... I don't now, that nomads can be rockstars too? Something like that. Somehow, I can't stop myself from picturing Khal Drogo among them, slicing throats and being a true badass. However, this album does a great job at describing the day to day routine of an honest group of nomadic gentlemen - gambling, traveling, family, romantic relationships, and it even goes further, discussing deep philosophical issues like life and death. I shit you not.

Although some kind of obsessive-compulsive disorder makes me feel uncomfortable when not writing a lengthy review, there's really not much more to say about this album (this, or I'm not intelectually capable of analyzing it). It's an interesting experience and if you're open to new things, you should definitely give it a try.



Code Orange Kids - Cycles (2011)


Code Orange Kids are a vicious 4-piece hardcore punk outfit from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I found out about them thanks to a post on CVLT Nation and I was impressed to say the least. They have a pretty bleak outlook on life, which I guess is cool because they're 18 and angry, but it all leads to some seriously wild instrument abuse. Also, they're terrific live. Check out the video below. It'll blow you away.

In the mean time, I'm gonna go to my cousin's house to make tacos, drink beer and watch shitty horror movies. More on that tomorrow.



Code Orange Kids (Full Set) from hate5six on Vimeo.

September 8, 2012

Pestilent Decay - 10 Tunes of Fusion Slam (2012)


Fucking Canada, man, back at it with the heavy awesomeness. Pestilent Decay is a dude from Ontario, Canada named Michael Carnovale who plays slamming instrumental technical deathgrind, as he puts it. Long-ass label aside, 10 Tunes of Fusion Slam is easily the best thing I've listened to all week. Basically, it's slam death combined with all sorts of random genres, from ska, pop punk and thrash all the way to djent and Sunn O)))-style doom metal. It's both funny and well-executed and you should definitely check it out. It'll brighted your day. Here's the full tracklist (because that's what instantly hooked me), followed by bandcamp and Facebook links. This guy is the bomb.

01. Saturday Slam Fever (Discofunkslam) (01:32)
02. Djentslam (01:00)
03. Streetlight Slamifesto (Skaslam) (01:09)
04. Garageslam (00:55)
05. Slam 182 (Poppunkslam) (02:15)
06. Burzlam (Blackenedslam) (01:38)
07. Dirty Slammin Imbeciles (Thrashslam) (00:48)
08. Calcuslam (00:56)
09. Shufflin Slam (Matewan) (00:54)
10. Slamm O))) (Dronedoomslam) (08:19)

LISTEN

LIKE


September 2, 2012

BEZNĂ TVCI - Discography

BEZNĂ TVCI were (are?) a subunderground bedroom black metal band whose members hailed from different parts of Romania and who managed to get a small cult following in these harsh lands. The core members of the band were (are?) Wyrmwater Glaurung (guitars, percussion, vocals), Craiu' Mort (vocals) and Duke Gherasim (guitars, vocals). Together, they self-released three  as well as a B-side compilation through  their label, Beznă Productions, whose roster also included Craiu' Mort as a solo artist and În Criptă, a one-man black metal/dark ambient band. But more on that later.

BEZNĂ TVCI called their music koi valah blak metal and they set out to redefine the meaning of trve kvlt. The demos weren't shared with anyone, not even among the band members. As far as I know, the only physical BT cd's are the ones I made for myself a few years ago. All the music was played with found instruments and recorded only at midnight. Shit was damn serious. Here are the four BEZNĂ TVCI recordings, listed in chronological order and with my notes on them.

BEZNĂ TVCI - Postvlatvl Nelvminii (2006)


The first demo was released in the summer of 2006 (because summer is grimmer than winter) and it consists of three tracks. Sodomizarea Ierihonului spews forth occult growlings over twangy acoustic guitars, completely shattering the perception on what black metal should sound like. The title track is a brooding song with some of the most terrifying drumming I've ever heard, while Flatulaţie Vargistă is a Burzum tribute which carries on in the same vein as the ambient-era Burzum tracks, with a solitary guitar managing to create a dreamy atmosphere that Varg only hinted at. Overall, an intriguing release that shows much promise in the band. However, they will show their true potential after less than a year. 


BEZNĂ TVCI - NOAPTEA VALPURGIEI (2007)


2007 brought the release of Noaptea Valpurgiei, the first full-length album by BEZNĂ TVCI. The band finally unleashed all of its creativity and music writing chops and presented an accomplished work consisting of seven tracks. The music relies on processed acoustic guitars that are layered one over the other, creating a tapestry of strummed chords and plucked notes that makes you feel uneasy and enthralled, at once. The songs have a definite structure, some even going for the verse-chorus-verse build. Craiu' Mort's whispered growls permeate the music and help create a brilliant dark atmosphere that evokes misty mountains, cold forests, forgotten graves and old bones. Duke Gherasim's lyrics bear the mark of a secluded misanthrope who cannot sleep at night. The band's future becomes uncertain at this point, as the member's reclusive nature and bitterness don't allow for any sort of updates on their activities. All I could do was wait. 


BEZNĂ TVCI - Malebolgia (2008)


Another few months went by and, right on Easter 2008, the new BEZNĂ TVCI album hit me hard. Malebolgia is the band's hardest listen, being one single track and clocking in at 27 minutes. It's experimental as fuck and chock full of weird, off-time twangy guitar lines and Craiu's ferocious growls provide an aggressive counterpoint to the twisting melodies. The song shifts gears constantly, incorporating silent parts and some mind-bending frantic strumming on the six-stringed instrument. Like I said, it's difficult to listen to, but it has its rewards. Probably. I tried listening to the whole thing a few times, but I always fell asleep during the silent bits. 


BEZNĂ TVCI - La Vecinic Tron Copita Scurmă (2009)


During the summer of 2009, the beast awoke once again. La Vecinic Tron Copita Scurmă is a collection of lost BEZNĂ TVCI songs and B-sides that, surprisingly, includes some of the band's best moments. It's hard to argue with an acoustic cover of Burzum's War sung in Craiu' Mort's distinctive voice or the six spoken word tracks voiced by the same man. Also featured are a Mayhem cover (the band sticks to its roots, even after several years), a brilliant intro track called Fiară Sioniană and - probably my favorite track off this compilation - Vasile Spimtecă Gospodăreşte Curul Cerului, another sample of ambient greatness that's a testament to the band's power... to move you.


The BEZNĂ TVCI saga ends here - or does it? I'll never know for sure. A new album might be brewing right now. I'll only find out about it after it's released. This is how it has always been. This is how it'll always be. A band for the ages. A legacy. A legend. 

The inner circle lives on.  


September 1, 2012

DEATH TO FALSE KETCHUP, ONLY HELLMANN'S IS REAL!


HELLMANN'S IS THE ONLY KETCHUP YOU SHOULD EAT

IT TASTES AMAZING

IT DOESN'T HAVE ANY BULLSHIT INGREDIENTS

COOL BOTTLE HUH??

GOES WITH EVERYTHING

INCLUDING PIZZA (KILL YOURSELF MARCO)

ALL OTHER KETCHUP BRANDS ARE FALSE

DEATH TO FALSE KETCHUP 


WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY??

"WHAT ABOUT HEINZ?"

FUCK HEINZ

HEINZ KETCHUP IS FOR POSERS AND HIPSTERS

"I TASTE LIKE VINEGAR AND DOG SPIT" - HEINZ KETCHUP


I DON'T CARE HOW MANY PEOPLE I LOSE OVER THIS POST

AT LEAST THE ONES THAT REMAIN ARE DIE HARD HELLMANN'S EATERS

STAY ALPHA BROS

GENETICALLY SUPERIOR

LIKE HELLMANN'S KETCHUP

YAH

The king of ketchups and the ketchup of kings