SATAN'S SATYRS "Die Screaming" LP (2014)

Greetings, Dear One, 'tis we.

Having heard the single off of this LP about two monts prior to its release, I said "Gee wiz, the greatest band since sliced bread sure has changed their sound a little. The vocals are clearly different and the production is a bit more polished. Excuse me while I grab the bits of my dick off the floor, it seems to have exploded while I was auditioning this." The single ruled, but not in a particularly Satan's Satyrs way, it was a bit different to what we were used to hearing from them, so the main question was: "Would they be able to pull it off?".

You bet your sweet ass.

When the album was uploaded to the Internet here and I finally got to listen to it, I found it to be... just so good. Like, everything you could ever want from a promising band's sophomore record: even better riffs, even better songwriting and experimenting with all sorts of vibes. I can't stress enough on how good the riffs are on this LP, they just keen delivering and delivering from the minute you drop the needle. And the vocals are just something very unique here, and by that I mean that you either learn to love the hell out of them, or they are a dealbreaker for you (yet so far I haven't heard anyone complain). Claythanas is just one of the most talented musicians out there and a personal hero for me. If my band is ever going places, it's going to be stepping on the steps of Satan's Satyrs, which means getting well-known in the underground by means of stupefying riffage, great songwriting and no-trend vintage vibes.

The only thing this album lacks a little for me is the cover art. I love the skeleton thing, but given the music we're dealing with here and the always-awesome previous SS artworks, this one could have used a little more sass in my opinion. Still, watch out freaks and fiends, we're dealing with one of the best albums of 2014.

9.5/10

Shitfucker "Suck Cocks In Hell" (2013)

The latest (and greatest) offering in filthy, offensive and downright insane metalpunk hails from noneother than Detroit Motor City, USA, with Acid Witch members Tim Shagrat and Motorcity Chaz in conspiracy with bass/vocalist Demonbitch to perform some of the most fucked in the head tunes this side of the wasteland. The cover above is the European version, as the American version features the shitswastika, therefore banning it in Germany. A little bit kitchy? Yes, but suithing the music nonetheless.

After the ridiculously demented "Sexual Manic EP" a couple of years ago, I knew the album would be very unique and stand out, generally. For there are many other bands now in the scene that draw a lot from early-Bathory, G.I.S.M. and the likes of NME, but Shitfucker manage to soung really original and DIY for a change. Really really ugly riffs and infectous vocals hitting hard on this record, with some choruses that can actually sound really catchy in this steaming mess (not in the bad way). The only downside is that maybe this project is stealing some of Shagrat's time, time in which he can, um, WRITE SOME NEW ACID WITCH TUNES AAARRRGGHHH.

L to R: Motorcity Chaz, cocaine, Demonbitch, cocaine, Shagrat.

8.5/10

Daniel W.'s Best Records Of 2013

And now for something completely different.

10. BEASTMILK “Climax”

The first entry is a more exotic one, as it’s not everyday that you get to listen to Finnish post-apocalyptic post-punk that really gets you going. With it’s couple of boring tracks, this album is a marvel to behold in the year 2013, packing a sound that is pretty hard to imitate. +1 Rad Resistance.

9. SHITFUCKER “Suck Cocks In Hell”

Detroit Rock City's most dirty and die-hard band. This absolutely disgusting metalpunk trio’s debut LP, after a series of very good EPs and demos, surely delivers the edgyness. It’s just something about Demonbitch’s vocals that makes you crawling back for more. Includes Acid Witch member Tim Shagrat as “perverse proselyzing Axemaster”.

8. CAUCHEMAR “Tenebrario”

Now we’re talking no-bullshit traditional doom, baby. French-Canadian rulers Annick and Francois, freshly returned from their trip around the world (which included some riff writing for this album) got together and recorded some of the most promising material around. Hands down the best track is the last one, “Tenebrario”, absolutely bone-chilling music.

7. UNCLE ACID “Mind Control”

If it weren’t for a couple of weaker tracks, this hypnothising album would’ve made one of the top spots, clearly, as the singles off it, namely “Poison Apple” and “Mind Crawler” are some of the most amazing songs 2013 has had to offer. Quite the trip this LP is, with its concept story about a cult member murdering his fellow disciples and forming his own religion is pure greatness, yet this offering from our second favourite uncle (Uncle Creepy=best) still is a few steps behind from their sophomore record, “Blood Lust”. Follow the leader!

6. TRIBULATION “The Formulas Of Death”

Nobody does death metal better than the Swedes, and when that pure-bread Swedish extreme music is coupled with cosmic and ethereal vibes, you get a truly unique death metal album that sends you to far away places before smashing you back into the ground with pounding Dissection-like riffs and hamonies.

5. ARCTIC MONKEYS “AM”

It’s pretty damn good if you ask me. (words coming from a non-Arctic Monkeys fan)

4. IN SOLITUDE “Sister”

This is 4^th dimension shit right here. In Solitude are pretty much breaking their own game and expanding ridiculously into strange new places. The result is an esotheric explosion that is completely different from their first album and a little bit from their second, mixing everything from post-punk, gothic, alternative to heavy, speed and thrash, and manage to pull it off without being to homosensual about it. Masterpiece.

3. ENFORCER “Death By Fire”

Wawawa. Fast, catchy, visceral, Swedish. Best speed metal album in eons, surpassing “Diamonds” and earning a lot of respect in the songwritting department for these charismatic and ghoulish Swedes. Who would have thought that an instrumental track would surpass a lot of the heavy metal that is being put out today? Galloping riffs all around.

2. BLOOD CEREMONY “The Eldrich Dark”

I have not heard such clever songwriting in a very long time. Amazing chemistry between the guitar, flute and drums happening on this 40 minute mammoth that would put even some Black Sabbath and Jethro Tull songs to shame. It took me three days of listening to this record on repeat to put it on it’s well deserved 2^nd place on my dandy list.

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Hands down, the best. Rarely do I form emotional ties with an album, let alone a masterpiece of so many different influences, sounds and eras combined. The feels are too strong to speak more, take my advice, plug this into your headphones, sit back and feel absorbed into the musical experience of a lifetime.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

EPs

5. BOLZER “Aura”

Damn this black death metal. Damn. This duo does live shows with only a guitar and drums and still manage to be as intense as possible. Pretty rare thing for a new black metal band.

4. JESS & THE ANCIENT ONES “Astral Sabbath”

Not for the title track, not for the 14 minute epic, but for the Shocking Blue cover this EP finds its place in my list. Waiting to hear more from this promissing band.

3. RANGER “Knights Of Darkness”

Dis some fast shit. Not too often do newcomer speed metal bands manage to sound so sharp and jam-packed to the brim. Impressive guitar work to say the least.

2. BLACK MAGIC SS “Panzerwitch”

No other band can sound as fucked up, bleached, muffled and pounding as Black Magic SS. Very good keyboard-work. Who expects a NSBM band to sound like the fucking Doors at times and pull off one of the best EPs this year? Also, they’re misterious as fuck, with only one more 7” released and no metal-archives, last.fm, allmusic etc. page. Talk about cult.

1. HIGH SPIRITS “2013”

Everything Chris Black touches turns to gold. Of course the best EP of the past 365 days is from High Spirits, one of the greatest bands of the century so far.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Special Awards:

BEST MUSIC VIDEO: Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats “Mind Crawler” – I wonder how much did the creator of this amazing music video lose of his precious mind searching for absolutely everything cult/biker/satan/drug/mass panic-related that made its way into the media in the 60s and 70s. All synched with the drums. Perfect.

DISSAPOINTMENT AWARD: Jex Thoth “Blood Moon Rise” – While the song “Keep Your Weeds” is one of the best this year, the rest are just boring as shitttt :( Avoid.

BEST NEWCOMERS: Alucarda “Dope Forever/Forever Loaded” demo – Satan’s Satyrs worshiping with Electric Wizard-inspired instrumentals. A beauty of a 4-track to put on when you’re trying to feel as filthy as possible. Which reminds me...

FILTHIEST ALBUM: Nekrofilth “Devil’s Breath” – If Abscess and Black Flag had a baby and the baby recorded an album and Putrid drew the cover, it would make me sick to my stomach.

SEMPITERMAL DOOM AWARD: Magic Circle “s/t” – The riff game ridiculous.

AN ALBUM I REALLY WANTED TO LIKE: Kadavar “Abra Kadavar” – even though it still packs a handful of great riffs and some good songwriting, it feels so hollow and plastic-like compared to their self titled LP. Yet another very promising band that fell under the wing of Nuclear Blast.

MOST ORIGINAL SOUND: Black Magic SS – I’ve already made my point.

BEST RECORD COVER: Watain “The Wild Hunt” – The funny thing about Watain is that they always have such amazing cover artwork, yet their albums are the audio equivalent of a banana being nailed to a tree. Happy to say that The Wild Hunt’s artwork beats them all to a bloody pulp, thanx to artist Zbyszek Bielak (The Devil’s Blood, Ghost, Behemoth).

MOST PRIMITIVE SOUND: Occult Burial “Demo MMXIII” – Did anybody say Bathory ^_^ ?

RIDING THE WINGS OF 2014: Acid Witch/Nunslaughter “Spooky” split 7” – The Half Life 3 of music, two new ACID WITCH songs. (out JANUARY 2014) Also looking extraordinarily forward to new MORBUS CHRON material.

All in all, I don't know if I should say 2013 was a richer year in metal and alltogether good music or if I got more open minded with the times, even though the latter is more possible. 2014 is gonna shred, though.

In the Guise of Men - Ink EP (2013)

This EP, whether the band knows it or not, is a small premiere. It's the first physical CD we've ever gotten in the mail for review. We received an email from Krys who's the vocalist (I think) of this band and he was like "dude gimme your address I wanna send you my band's CD". I asked him if he was sure he wanted to spend money on postage, because we'd be just as happy with a download link. "No man, I gotta send you this promo pack, give me your address, do it, do it now!" And I did. A brisk two weeks or so later, a package all the way from Paris made its way to my local post office, from where it ended up on my desk, where I tore it apart to reveal a neatly packaged CD and a nicely decorated, but rather sparse info sheet. 

Now, I'm not into collecting CDs. The last CD's I had were some Negură Bunget albums, but I gave them to some girl because honestly CDs are a pain in the ass. I'm never, ever, ever, EVER going to think to myself "hey, I feel like listening to this band, let me PUT THE CD IN MY COMPUTER'S DVD TRAY THEN WAIT FOR IT TO SPIN FOR A WHILE THEN PLAY IT IN WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER." Too much work. The artwork argument doesn't hold up with me either, because CD artwork is just too damn small. If you like artwork, then splurge on the vinyl disc so you can admire the artwork on a huge canvas. All in all, I'd rather just buy digital copies of music or support the band by going to a show or buying a shirt.

So after importing a CD through iTunes for the first time in my life, I was finally able to put a sound to the In the Guise of Men name. Man, this is really hard to describe and I'm gonna do a really bad job at it. It's a really diverse mixture and I can hear a TON of stuff battling for attention: percussive djenty guitar riffs, slight progressive touches, distorted telephone vocals, clean vocals sung in an alternative metal style, rumbling bass lines, aggressive parts, uplifting choruses, weird electronic bits - I mean holy shit, that's a lot of things to go through in just six songs clocking in at 27 minutes!

In the Guise of Men manage to somehow pull it off nicely, though. The band is able to intelligently mix together all of these seemingly different elements into one single coherent, catchy package. Ink can feel pretty schizoid at times, moving swiftly between moods, but I think this works in its favor and makes for an engaging and dynamic listening experience. I'd love to see these guys perform live, because I'm convinced their music truly blossoms in a live setting. The somewhat muddy production on CD doesn't really do it justice. 

Anyway, I'm getting the irking feeling that I'm rambling aimlessly, so I'll put an end to it. Thanks for sending us your CD, dudes, and keep up the good work! Hopefully we'll have a beer before your concert in Bucharest soon, right?

https://www.facebook.com/InTheGuiseOfMen
https://soundcloud.com/in-the-guise-of-men

Orphaned Land - Mabool: The Story of the Three Sons of Seven (2004)

Ladies and gents, we got some great news for ya'll: Tzeeac has taken under its wing yet another mindless minion. He goes by the name of Zulu and, apparently, he's a hard-working member of society and an outstanding citizen. This contradicts pretty much everything we stand for, but hey, who are we to judge? He likes what we worship, so it should be a'ight. 

Without further ado, we present to you his very first review. We'll let you decide if he's cool enough to hang with us. 

I stumbled across this band (figuratively speaking, of course) about three years ago, while digging through allmighty Google for some Swallow the Sun reviews (I tend to do that sometimes, the digging up part) and they were pegged as something close to the second coming down of Christ. The band itself hails from Israel, specialize in blending death metal with jewish and arabic folklore and this album tells a story about the three angels that each represent a specific branch
of religion (Judaism, Islam and Christianity).

Birth of the Three starts the album a bit on the safe side, as the listener is introduced slowly to all that Orphaned Land stands for. It's not a great track per se, but for me it worked very well, because I was not disappointed with what came next: I say this because in many cases, a band pummels you with a great first song and then loses energy throught the course of the album -  here comes to mind the piece Scream Machine by Beyond Fear (Tim "The Ripper" Owens, anyone?) from the self-titled album.

What comes next is a sonic assault composed of crunchy guitars, clean and growled vox, some tasteful soloing (see the track The Storm Still Rages Inside), chants in Hebrew, Latin and Yemen (with lyrics taken from The book of Genesis and also from Rabbi Shalom ben Yosef Shabbazi's poems), some oriental percussion, keyboards, synths and piano (Norra el Norra stands apart with a great piano ending by Eden Rabin) and a sparring use of Bağlama, Bouzouki and Oud (google is your friend with these ones). In other words, the album is massive; and to get an idea of how massive it is, a total of 25 people are credited for the production of this beast, not including the five permanent band members.

As an overall feel, I'd have to say the flow is very good, and despite the constant changing of instrumental passages, the atmosphere is retained. The most important thing is that after you reach the end of the album, it does not feel like a random collection of songs, but a piece of music with an identity of its own. For me, it's what I strive to find in any musical entity, and here is where Mabool delivers the most.

What's there more to say, besides the fact that I highly recommend it? (not only to metal fans, but to every music listener with an open mind). Listen to it and make your own decision, but I doubt that you'll be disappointed.


Pros: Originality, flow, good mixing of different passages, interludes that you won't be skipping.

Cons: Death vocals could be a little more aggressive and the rhythm guitar sounds a bit flat (but I'm nitpicking here).

Highlights: The Kiss of Babylon, Halo Dies, Norra el Norra, The Storm Still Rages Inside
Rating: 9

Track List

1. "Birth of the Three (The Unification)" – 6:57
2. "Ocean Land (The Revelation)" – 4:43
3. "The Kiss of Babylon (The Sins)" – 7:23
4. "A'salk" – 2:05
5. "Halo Dies (The Wrath of God)" – 7:29
6. "A Call to Awake (The Quest)" – 6:10
7. "Building the Ark" – 5:02
8. "Norra el Norra (Entering the Ark)" – 4:24
9. "The Calm Before the Flood" – 4:25
10. "Mabool (The Flood)" – 6:59
11. "The Storm Still Rages Inside" – 9:20
12. "Rainbow (The Resurrection)" – 3:01

                                     

P.S: They had a show recently in Bucharest, but for reasons that I don't seem to remember I couldn't make it to see them, so for now I'm sticking to the album version. Next time I won't make the same mistake.