KINDERGRIND: Sockweb - Werewolf (2014)

This is it everybody - the grindcore album to end all grindcore! I've been literally waiting for this for close to a year, when I contributed $1 to Sockweb's Indiegogo campaign to fund their debut album. A few days ago, I received an email with a download code for Werewolf and I've had a stupid grin plastered on my face ever since. 

So who are Sockweb and what's up with their name? Sockweb is the world's first father/daughter grindcore band, composed of 7 year-old Joanie Young on lead vocals and her cool dad Adam Young on guitars, drum programming and backing vocals. The first thing you're inclined to think is "What, a 7 year-old girl doing vocals for a grindcore band? Pffahahaha LAME!" Well that would make you a big doo-doo head, because Joanie absolutely KILLS IT on vocals and Werewolf is actually one of the most insane, brutal and creative grindcore albums I've ever heard. She also writes all of the lyrics, which deal with hard-hitting issues like pancakes, werewolves, hot chocolate, bunnies and playground bullies. Joanie's shrieks are complimented by Adam's swarm-of-angry-hornets-type guitar riffs, the occasional guitar solo and, of course, more yelling. I imagine having your dad grindcore-scream at you "YOU'RE GROUNDED FOREVER" would pretty much send everyone crying to their rooms, but Joanie has no problem going head to head with her dad and their vocal trade-offs are too great. Scott Hull from Pig Destroyer handled mastering duties so the production is flawless and there's a guest appearance on the last track by my favorite female vocalist in metal, Katherine Katz of Agoraphobic Nosebleed, who joins Joanie for some all-out sonic carnage. Oh, and there are a lot of samples from cartoons like Scooby Doo, Spongebob Squarepants, The Tick and Drawn Together. Does the awesomeness ever end?!

So, to put it in short for all you dum-dums out there: 

• father/daughter grindcore band
• an adorable 7 year-old girl on vocals
• catchy and crushing songs about breakfast cereal and werewolves
• cartoons
• mastering by Scott Hull
• guest vocals by Katherine Katz (Agoraphobic Nosebleed)

I know it sounds gimmicky and to a certain point, it is. But there's no denying that this is seriously an amazing album and that the music definitely stands up on its own. I urge you to check it out or else I'll throw dirt in your face and steal your toys! Do iiiiiiit!

br00tal.

LABEL HIGHLIGHT: Grindcore Karaoke

Since I mentioned it in my previous post, I couldn't help sharing Grindcore Karaoke with you. Basically, Grindcore Karaoke is web-only label run by Agoraphobic Nosebleed's J. Randall, who just sort of scours the web for obscure grindcore bands, gets in touch with them and, should they accept (and what idiot would turn down J. Randall?), their shit will be promoted via this label.

There's a truckload of great grindcore to be found here, as I managed to count just under 200 albums that you can stream and download for free. Most of it is pretty obscure, but I have managed to find some stuff that even I have heard of, like Gigantic Brain, hip-hop juggernauts Death Grips and, uh... no, that's pretty much it.

Anyway, I'm sure you can trust J. Randall's impeccable taste in music that sounds like robots and wolves fighting over lit firecrackers, so get in there and start ghettoblasting. HATE YOUR NEIGHBOURS!

http://grindcorekaraoke.com/

Agoraphobic Nosebleed - Bestial Machinery (2005)

Hey, does anyone else feel like listening to this 136-track compilation of rare/unreleased Agoraphobic Nosebleed material? Well you're in luck, because now it's available on their bandcamp! I'll also embed the whole thing here, just because bandcamp lets me. What a nice evening this has turned out to be.

Agoraphobic Nosebleed - Make a Joyful Noise (2011)

Agoraphobic Nosebleed au lansat un album de sărbători. 11 piese în patru minute, futu-i da! În sfârşit, pot să-mi petrec Crăciunul mâncând sarmale şi cozonac şi ascultând grindcore festiv despre cum se droghează Moşul şi despre declinul industriei muzicale.

HO, HO, FUCKING HO, WHAT A CROCK OF SHIT